Phases - Infection, Depression

1.Infection:
Trapped in a cycle that we're doomed to repeat
Depression like lead on our shoulders, cant stand on our own two feet
This infection an impression buried deep in our minds
Putting a halt to progression and repressing our lives
APATHY and AGONY feelings we've come to know well indeed
they say with PAIN COMES PLEASURE and i want whats owed to me

2. Depression:
When i die bury me in memories of my youth
and how everything was supposed to be
I know right now nothing has changed
but i fear whats next in the coming days
TIME IS MY ENEMY

time is my enemy,  unfair adversary
she watches as she waits for my final ending
breaking me down to a hollow empty shell
and leaving me to fucking rot in my own fucking hell.

Cause ive been killing time, and shes been killing me
Carelessly stabbing away at my sincerity
Oh how i long, for a life of happiness
to feel the warmth of love, some compassion & tenderness

Ive spent the last year, erasing the past 3 years of my life
Just so i could get some sleep at night
THROW IT IN THE LAKE, THROW IT ALL AWAY
FUCK YOU, fuck this song, FUCK EVERYTHING
Cause ive been killing time, yea ive been killing time
writing songs about my suicide.

I feel the air in my lungs
I feel these words slip off my tongue
I tell myself that im alright
but it wont change the fact that IM READY TO DIE

3. Beneath The Sheets
Behind closed doors your both cried of your emptiness
So you filled the voids in between your legs
Beneath the sheets, you acheieved your selfish needs
Desperate for a release, did you think of me?

You fucking snakes, I taste the venom of your forked tongue kiss
Your suicides are the only apology i'll accept
What happened to loyalty to the ones who were loyal to me
You fucking liars, You fucking fakes

THIS IS WHAT I, THIS IS WHAT I HAVE BECOME,
I cant trust anyone

Selfish, disgusting
You only feel alive when there is someone youre fucking
Dirty, Vindictive
Yet somehow you still play the victim

Decievers, Ill cast my stones
I'll point my fingers, I'll let it be know
12 years, 12 years, 12 years
Down the fucking drain

4. Long Goodbyes
I need to find a way out of here
I need to find an escape
Move out of this glass house, so crystal clear
Cause these skies are always a shade of fucking gray

And everywhere i go, I see your face
And its always staring back at me
You ask how im still alive, I wish i could tell you
I've been forced in this scene so many times i had no where else to turn too

Close your mouth and dry your eyes
You know i hate to see you cry
Well i guess thats just another lie
paved into this road of long goodbyes

and thats the road im taking home
ill take it home
im letting go

5. Forever
Its these days, that were killing me
Until you came to me in my sleep
In my dreams you are all i see
My saving grace, a piece of clarity

We're just moments from forever
but decades from where we want to be
The days always surrender and all i want is eternity

A shred of hope in the night Shes my moon
She breaks the dark with her light,
Illuminates my room

All we have are these moments and all i want is eternity
Just promise me that you'll never leave.

6. Endeavor 
The sun goes down and here i stand again
Patiently waiting, i watch you sleep as i caress your head
i wish that i could tell you, how it feels to be inside this moment
and how i feel so fucking  hopelessly devoted

I told myself, i'd never let myself feel this way again
because i fear what lies ahead.
More broken hearts, more fair-weather friends
I cant take these broken hearts and fair-weather friends

Forever, is a word that i have foolishly said
but honestly its something ive never meant
but this time things are different
I swear that i can mean it

This time things are different, so please dont let me down
I'll say it once again, hopelessly devoted
Hopelessy devoted, Until the very end
I am hopeless..

7. Haunted Past:
Endless disappointments will be the death of me
My expectations will never meet reality
Self loathing, self sabotaging
Theres days i should have stayed in bed
This infection of depression
I replay the worst over in my head

I have lost everything, important to me
I guess it was make or break this year
and ive been choking on my words and drowning in my tears
i'm at the point in which i will break
it seems like i fucking fail no matter what choice i make
So i sit and i stare at these white walls til cant see anything at all

Trapped inside this prison, thats disguised as my apartment
Empty handed right back where i started.
Head in my hands, I never asked for sympathy
but only for a way to find joy in misery

These days of discomfort, They're such a fucking waste
Possessions and friends surround me, yet i feel so out of place
I look back in hindsight, it all happened so fast
My present is infected with visions of my past

8. Glory days:
Glory days
My glory days are fading away
When youre young they say that you can be anything
but in my dreams i cant see two feet in front of me
Empty beds and headached heads, constant anxieties
I take a look at myself and i see that ive accomplished nothing.

9 to 5s are robbing me of 40 hours every week
and still i struggle to make ends meet
I want back those glory days, back to a time i didnt feel this way
Before shame and hate filled  my everyday

As a kid i had hopes and dreams
But they never told me this is how life would be
And here i stand in my mid twenties
With no hope and broken dreams

I walk the line, stare at the trains that carry the names
I wanna get on board, and say goodbye to this place
But i'll stay, i need to make my mark,  make some change

i need some change
Cast out by society, exiled into apathy
break the chains restraining me
I will break apathys hold me,
I will break free

9. No Rest For The Wicked
Plastic smiles hugging and shaking hands
After admission is payed they turn their backs on the bands
But thats alright, keep coughing up your money
Cause you're still supporting me without supporting me honey..

Put your money in my pockets and stop pretending that you care
Because in my house, there is no place to rest for the insincere

10. A Means To An End
And i ask myself where did it all go wrong
I find myself hating everything that i love

Straddling the fence of giving up or giving a fuck
The only hand I've ever been dealt was full of bad luck
Im not the boy i used to be
A bastard child turned into a man
Who only sees suffering.

When I was a kid I learned the hard way
That everything disappears everything fades
And on that day the world stopped turning
The fire in my heart decreased its burning

 theres no hope for discourse
I keep repeating myself ive run out of words
theres no chance of recourse
Every option i had took a turn for the worse

When i was a kid i learned the hard way
That everything disappears, Everything fades
And on that day the world stopped turning
The fire in my heart decreased its burning

Time has been standing still and i keep cursing its name
To give me a chance give me a fucking break
Because im stuck here again retracing my steps
Running in circles looking for a means to an end

I want my life back, a means to an end
I want my dreams back, a means an end
I want to feel naive again, a means to an end
I want to feel innocence again, a means to an end.